Navigating Rejection: Practicing Resilience
Navigating rejection can be quite challenging. Despite my extensive experience with this topic, it's something I've hesitated to discuss openly. One of the more public rejections for me are moments scattered throughout my journey as a fundraiser. I have faced rejections to solicitations and it underscores the importance of resilience—a skill I consider second only to listening. It's crucial to recognize that in fundraising, as in many fields, rejection doesn't define me personally; often, it's influenced by various external factors. Though professionally I’ve faced my share of "no”, I've come to understand that rejection is not a reflection of my worth. However, in other facets of my life, I've struggled with rejection defining my worth and therefore stunting or at least slowing down new moments of “yes”.
Intellectually, I understand personal rejection is not a reflection of the totality of who I am as a human. And many times, just as with professional rejection, it is often influenced by various external factors. There are many emotions attached to rejection such as sadness, anger, fear and guilt. How do you feel these emotions and still be resilient? Handling "no" isn't my forte, but it's an integral part of life. The ability to be resilient, whether personally or professionally, is essential for moving forward to new adventures, opportunities, and success. I have a constantly evolving list of resilience strategies.
For example, learning something new is one of my resilience tools. It forces me to focus on a different set of challenges and leaves space for my heart to heal and my head to process the rejection. Admittedly, sometimes the "resilience toolkit” is buried underneath a pile of boxes, but having strategies to lift myself out of pain allows for growth and a return to peace, happiness, and self-love.
Do you have a resilience toolkit? If not, here are a few questions to consider if you choose to build one for yourself:
What makes me laugh out loud?
What am I doing when I am most at peace and happy?
Is there something new I would like to learn?
What could I do right now that would help me feel accomplished?
What am I grateful for at this moment?
By having a written or even mental list of some of the answers to the above, you can rely on these ideas, and now tools, as a source of comfort when struggling with rejection and practicing resilience.
No matter how you process rejection, remember to be kind to yourself regarding the emotions you are feeling, Believe there is a “Yes” in your future and know that moving forward will lead you through.
With gratitude and love,
Melisa