Get To vs. I Have To: A Choice in Gratitude
If you have read any of my previous blogs, you have heard me mention the proverbial life toolbox. I define it in my own life as a set of skills I have acquired or discovered over my personal journey as I design my own success.
One of the most recent tools I have been purposely sharpening was acquired during a stressful experience that elicited feelings of deep rejection. As I reflected on the pattern that brought me to that painful moment, something new emerged for me.
What if I began to intentionally change my language with myself and others, using the phrase “I get to” instead of “I must,” “I have to,” or “I need to”? What I quickly uncovered was that this simple phrase immediately made me feel more empowered, proactive, and ultimately grateful.
Let me share a couple of examples. Although I enjoy leading a team and my role at the University, I don’t always feel like facing a long day of complex activities and interactions. Instead of rolling over in bed, feeling stressed on days that seemed foreboding for one reason or another, and saying to myself, “I have to go to work today,” I changed my self-talk immediately to, “I get to go to work today.” In that moment, my attitude shifted from one of obligation to one of gratitude.
I started to think, what if I utilized this tool in my gratitude practice as I experienced feelings of sadness, rejection, grief, and pain? What if I repositioned those moments into opportunities for gratitude for the good and happy feelings that came out of those challenging situations?
I get to feel sad because that relationship is over, but I experienced some wonderful moments and learned some things about myself.
I get to feel grief because I lost someone I loved and am forever changed because of their existence.
I get to feel rejected because I chose to take a chance and apply for that job. I didn’t land it, but I stretched myself and am proud of trying.
Although the change in language was subtle, the change in my attitude is becoming unstoppable. I feel a sense of peace and happiness in ways I had not previously experienced because now I can look at these difficult life moments with gratitude and take away from them feelings of strength, beautiful memories, and sincere pride for trying. I am now practicing this tool constantly, even with simple everyday activities. I get to go to the grocery store. I get to do the laundry. I get to work out.
No matter what tools you are discovering on your journey, know that you are worthy of love from yourself and others. You deserve to experience happiness and peace.
I get to share my thoughts and tools with you.
I am truly thankful!
With Gratitude and Love,
Melisa